Hey there. Can you hear me? I might not be as loud as some but I hope you can still make out what I have to say to you. I know your chest is tight and the edges of your eyes are moistened but I am telling you it is okay. You can relax. You’re stronger than this. Clear your throat and stand up. You’re not done yet and it’s because you’ve never been done. You are still alive and still breathing and if you have even an ounce of breath left in your body you are stronger than you could ever realize.
You can feel it now can’t you? I’m right here with you. I’ve always been with you. Your heart is slowing down and your legs feel a bit stronger now don’t they? They are wrong. Everyone has been introduced to that pain at some point in their life but they have had to been introduced to you. I have always been here. I have been here since the day your heart started to beat and I remember every single moment since then even if you can’t. When you scraped your knee and felt that pain for the very first time we were there together. We got through it together because I helped you back to your feet. I take that back. You got back on your feet by your own.
I know how much it hurt to have someone laugh in your face, to ignore you, and to feel like you were nothing. I was with you that day they walked away but we both knew that wasn’t the end. That was on them, not on you. They lost out. You gained. The fact of the matter is for them to cast you away like that wasn’t them throwing you away, that was them losing the opportunity for something special. Something that was right in front of them that they could have needed in their life but perhaps their own darkness had control. Perhaps they were the ones too afraid to take you on. To have some happiness in their own life. The other side is powerful, there is no doubting that, but it is not all encompassing. You choked that day but eventually you were able to swallow it down, to move on.
You carried it with you but you still lived your life. That new kind of pain was terrible but in the end you are still alive. Still breathing. Still laughing. Still crying. That is what matters. I was with you and you didn’t even know it. I lent myself to you not because you needed me, but because that is what you are. You survive.
Everyone is struggling just the same as you are but take comfort in that. Take comfort in the fact that you are not alone. You have never been alone. You care. They care. Everyone cares. We just believe sometimes we are strong enough to shoulder the burden on our own. I am telling you it is okay to rely on others. It is okay to cry on a shoulder every now and then and let everything wash away. That isn’t giving up, that is fighting back and there are others who will help you fight back.
I know things only get harder in life. As you get older those insecurities of your childhood and of your adolescence echo in your ear like a taunting jester who has its royal highness strapped into their very own throne. Every now and then a bad choice is made and terrible feelings are felt. You may feel like you are wasted and that no one would or should ever love you but they do. People do love you. Even if you can’t see it at the time and drive yourself deeper and deeper there are still those out there that want nothing more than to take your hand and pull you back to the surface and they will feel honored for doing so.
Even if you cannot see the hands that wish to raise you from the darkness you’ve descended into that is fine. Those hands are never judging and always forgiving regardless of whether or not you take them. Though you don’t really need to take those hands do you? You’ve been here before. You’ve skinned your knees, you’ve fallen down, and you cannot imagine anything worse than what it is you’re going through. You’ve been here before. How did that turn out?
You rose. You pushed yourself up from that pain and pressed on. You’ve done it thousands of times in the past and you’ll do it a thousand times before. You’ll finally see that you can be happy. That you deserve to be happy. You’ll finally understand that it takes something special to allow yourself to be happy. With anyone or anything. You will shine brighter than ever before and you’ll shine someday soon.
I can say this because we’ve been a team ever since your heart first beat. It’s always been you and me.